That means I've put on about four pounds in two weeks. Which explains why I'm currently going through the 22 stages of grief. What, there aren't 22 stages? I thought there were. I thought the first one was Burritos. Fuck.
Okay, I'm done with the eff word. For now. My apologies if I've offended your near-British sensitivities.
I was so pissed. Still am, honestly. I am running like a fool. I am not, admittedly, tracking every calorie. But damn, this year has sucked. I am working out a lot, putting in my time, and watching what I eat. Evidently this is not enough. Getting older sucks, folks. Get this shit under control before you turn 40, because after that there's just menopause and fat.
Which I think might be the title of my autobiography.
It's not just the number on the scale, mind you. It's a general feeling of moo moo. And the moo moo makes me feel gross and fat and ugly and all the negative crap. Dangerous spiral behind door #1; don't go there.
So now you're probably wondering ... what are you gonna do about it, Margaret? Well, to answer, here we go:
- I am going to weigh in again tonight. The theory being that I usually weigh on Tuesdays, so the number might be skewed. Not sure I buy in, but that's what my fitness friends say. (My reason, incidentally, for hopping on the scale last night was because my Salsa/Funk class was moved to Monday, and I usually weigh on Salsa/Funk night; oh, well, I guess we'll stick with Tuesday.)
- I am logging calories on My Fitness Pal (myfitnesspal.com). Are you on there? I'm schmaggie; friend me.
- I am also logging workouts. Like yesterday, when I walked for half an hour, ran five miles and did an hour of dance class. (No, this is not a normal day; it was an exception. I don't usually run on Mondays.)
- I will remembering that my body is a temple, and I should not poison it. Harder than it sounds.
- I will performing my phys therapy exercises three to four days a week.
- Finally, I will be gracious with myself. This is the toughest part; I'm angry with myself and with the scale, so I have had a hard time looking at myself today. I need to accept that this is where I am, and then love myself anyway. I'll let you know how that goes.
So that's where I'm at. Incidentally, today I have logged all my food, walked for half an hour, and I'm feeling pretty good. Tonight I have strength training class and a little cardio planned, probably time to get on the bike. It would be so much easier to throw my hands up and quit. I don't think I'm wired that way.
At least not any more.