She's got legs

So I have my share of body image issues. It's not something I'm proud of, but lots of times when I see myself - in my head, in a photograph, in a mirror - the image I see remains one that is ugly. Mis-shapen. Out of shape. Unfit. I think I'm being realistic. I think I am seeing what the world sees. I see photos like the one below, and I am sure that the only thing anyone sees when they look at the image is my thighs.

My lumpy, bumpy, cellulite-ridden thighs.

Please ignore the PROOF marks; I'm trying to make a point.

And how freaking sad is that? I'm sitting here looking at the photo, and that's the first thing that came into my mind. "Gosh, I shouldn't have worn shorts. Those are some hideous legs."

But they're not. I'm wrong. Those are awesome legs.

In the hours before this photo was snapped, those legs carried me 13.1 miles through the humidity of central Florida, weather that couldn't be more different than that which I'd trained in. And they brought me across the finish line.

These legs are my legs. They are not perfect, but really, no one notices that but me. So here is where I stop the rotten self-talk and focus on what's good.

They may not be outwardly muscular, but my legs are incredibly strong. These legs are my legs, and I won't disrespect them any more. These are the legs of a woman, complete with curve and jiggle; this is how they are supposed to look, how they are supposed to work. These aren't just the legs of a runner; these are the legs of a woman who has worked off an extra 90-some-odd pounds. Mine are proud legs. Legs that pulled me through 23 races in 2012. Legs that pedal up hills and around corners while the wind whistles in my ears. Legs that will never be confused with those of supermodels, but given the choice, I'd keep this set anyway.

While we were in Florida to run the half marathon, my friend Carrie introduced us to the Body Peace Treaty, from Seventeen Magazine. In my opinion, the Treaty is revolutionary. It focuses on reminding young girls to value their bodies, and it resonates in women of any age. And, it serves as a reminder that our flaws aren't flaws at all. They are a reflection of what makes a person unique.

Celebrate your essential you-ness. Dare to be different.

And love your legs.

After the half

My second 13.1 is in the books. My second half marathon is but history. (Butt history?) It was a horrible, humid, wonderful, tiring, painful endeavor.
That doesn't mean I have any regrets, or that I won't do it again. Actually, on the contrary - I may actually be looking forward to it more. But my approach will be different, and there will be a new strategy between then and now.

But that's another story for later. For now, here's how the weekend played out.

First of all, as is the tradition, the morning we left was a snowstorm. But we were thankfully able to take off without incident and soon we were in 80 degree blissful warmth. We went to the expo, which was damn crowded and made me cranky, and then to the Pasta in the Park Party.

I love this event. It's a way that Disney really makes you feel special, and I enjoy it very much. But this year I was really tired ... not unlike last year ... and morning was going to come early because we were running a 5k. So I did not take advantage of much other than the meal. Day one, and I was already cranky. It did help, though, that I ran into my friend Cindy, whom we met on the plane headed to Orlando last year. We have a tradition now!

The 5k was a lot of fun, but I'm not sure I would do it again. It isn't timed, and there are a lot of people but not a lot of character stops. Sure, it's fun to run through Epcot, but I wanted a little something more. Not sure I'd do the 5k again, especially since it means getting up super early.

Me, run-ready. I seriously love my running kilt.

After the 5K, we showered and headed to the Magic Kingdom for dinner at Crystal Palace (and Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore). And while that was good, the real draw is DOLE WHIP! The only other place you can get it is at the Dole Plantation in Hawaii, so this little taste of goodness was a lovely reminder of a place I love just as much (if not more) than Disney World. Delish.

Me, Linda and Dole Whip.

We spent the remainder of Saturday trying to rest up and save our legs for the main event. Not that it mattered all that much; Sunday morning dawned humid and altogether crummy. But, if I may put on my Pollyanna pants, I'm glad the forecast didn't come true. There could have been thunderstorms and constant rain, so I guess I'll feel lucky the race went on at all.

We reported to Epcot and checked in to the Race Retreat. This is a runner's paradise, with everything you need for pre- (and post- ) race prep. 

My sister Kathie and her friend (mine, too!) Carrie at the Retreat.
They are my family, my coaching team, my mentors,
my inspiration and most of all ... my friends.

Have to take a moment here and acknowledge that, on this trip, I was surrounded by support. My sister Kathie was my first real-life example of an athlete. She showed me that real people - people I knew and loved - risked failure by putting themselves out there and trying to complete races. People just like me. Well ... like the me I wanted to be. By her example, I could see myself becoming something different. The Maggie I was in the beginning only dreamed of the failures I have today, because I wasn't even in good enough shape to fail this way. I couldn't even try. Kathie, and Carrie, and my friend Di - all of whom were on this trip - told me I could do it before I even tried. Then, once I started, my friend Linda bolstered me through a lot of the long, laborious runs. Shelly came along later, and has been consistent with her love and support, too. Everything, it would seem, takes a village ... even if we're just building a stronger Maggie. I can't begin to say what it meant to have this whole team along for the weekend. It was everything my soul could have asked for.

But back to the Retreat. Bagels, bananas, coffee and a place to sit down is most appreciated, as are the private bathrooms and bag check. Soon it was time to walk to the corrals. But not before we took one more photo!

Shelly and me; we were both in Corral G (the slow corral).

Soon it was time for our corral to start, and off we went. And it was horrible. Hot. Humid. Ew. My first mile or three went well - I was on target to finish in sub-3 (less than three hours, my goal). Then at about the halfway mark, after the Magic Kingdom, it seemed to hit everyone. The entire field slowed down, everyone began to walk, and there was just no chance of running at that point. I think it was mile 9 when I realized I was not going to hit my goal. Sub-3 was not in the cards. But I kept repeating my mantras to myself in my brain:

• Execute the plan.
• Keep moving forward.
• Be relentless.

So I finished, eventually. It was really hard! I learned that heat and humidity make it really difficult to effectively run; it was important for me to let go of my expectations and just run (or walk) for the sake of moving forward.

My totals looked like this:

• Total run time: 3:22:16
• 15K split: 2:21:13 (15:09 minute mile)
• 10K split: 1:32:21 (14:52 minute mile)
• 5K split: 44:48 (14:25 minute mile)
• Division place: 1,225 out of 1,749
• Gender place: 15,608 out of 21,222
• Overal place: 16,792 out of 22701

Pretty abysmal, until you consider this:

• I beat my 2012 overall time by two minutes and 15 seconds.

In terms of placement, in 2012 my placement stats were:

• Division: 1,183 out of 1,417
• Gender: 13,666 out of 15,802
• Overall: 14664 out of 16,906

So in 2012 in my division, I was at 83.48 percent; 16.52 percent of people were slower than I. In 2013, I was at 70.04 percent in my division; damn near 30 percent of people were slower. This is a huge improvement. 

In 2012 in my gender, I was at 86.48 percent; 13.52 percent of people were slower than I. In 2013, I was at 73.54 percent; 26.46 percent of women were slower than I. 

And overall in 2012, I ranked at 83.73 percent; 16.27 percent of all finishers were slower than I. In 2013, I ranked at 73.97 percent. Fully 26.03 percent of people sucked at running even more than I.

In every comparison, I improved by more than 10 percent. So clearly, everyone struggled with the humidity. So when I do the math, I can appreciate the progress that didn't necessarily show up in my finish time. 

Okay. Enough with the math. We spent race day at Epcot, drinking margaritas and eating anything we damn well pleased. Then we went to the Grand Floridian for dinner with Cinderella. Fun! Bedtime that night came early, and wakeup the next morning came late. We had earned a good night's sleep!

Monday morning, we had breakfast at Cat Cora's new restaurant on the Boardwalk. Delicious! Then we spent the entire rest of the day lounging, poolside.

Literally, lounging poolside.

This was the perfect Florida day, and at this point we deserved it. Such a delight to relax and do nothing except drink something frozen and fruity, and go down a water slide, and eat watermelon rind salad. Seriously, perfect.

It was not a wonderful race, but it was a wonderful weekend. I'm so glad I did it, and we are already making our plans for 2013. It's all worth it when you consider you get to be with friends for an extended weekend at the Happiest Place on Earth. Plus ... Bling.

Heavy Medal.

So now, I have something to prove to myself. I will go the distance at least two more times, pressing myself ever forward toward my goal of a sub-3 half. In May, I am registered for the Great Western Half Marathon, and in July, it's Rock-n-Roll Chicago. One of those will be MINE! 

I need a new scale

I've been saying that for, what, a year now? Anyway, I weighed Monday. I am holding firm somewhere in the very low 200s. I say that because I got on three times, and it gave me three different weights.

• 203.4
• 202.9
• 201.8

So I learned two things:

1. I need a new scale.
2. The number doesn't really matter because my jeans fit.

So there's that.

Anyway, it's a bit of a struggle to know where I am these days, but I think the lesson here is that you really do know, even if you don't have proof. How you feel, how your pants fit, and what your belly flab is doing is as good an indicator - if not better - than the number on the scale.

Although I will admit, I got really excited about the 201.8 reading, because it meant I could, possibly, squeak out my goal of being under 200 by the time I run the half on Sunday. So, we'll see. Meanwhile, I'm just following the plan (sort of), keeping my eyes on the prize (a fun and healthy half marathon), and doing what I can without losing my shit. Because that's no fun at all.

Royal Goals

One week from now, I will be in Orlando. It's Race Weekend!

My sister Kathie, her friend Carrie, me, and my friends Diane, Linda and Shelly will be taking part in Princess Half Marathon Weekend. It's four days of fun, with two runs - a 5K and a half marathon. So I wanted to take a moment or three and work my way through race-related goals, before the mayhem of planning and packing takes over my brain. Here's where I'm at:

5K Goals
The 5K is a fun run; it's not timed. So my approach will be pretty casual!

• Have fun.
• Stop for photographs.
• Keep a solid, comfortable running pace for two miles.
• Have fun.

That's it! Easy ones. Running a 5K is a simple proposition for me now (which is funny, considering how scared I was before my first one). So this is really just for the fun of it.

Half Marathon Goals
A more serious race, with more serious goals. Some have secondary or tertiary goals, in case I surpass one.

• Have fun.
• Finish.
• Finish in the upright position.
• Finish smiling.
• Finish in less time than I did last year (3:24:29).
• Finish at least 15 minutes faster than I did last year (under 3:10).
• Finish in under three hours. (Please?)
• Hydrate properly.
• Don't need to stop to poop.
• Enjoy the energy and atmosphere.
• Don't cry.

So that's them - what I'm reaching for, starting one week from today. It's almost here!

Indoor tri, weigh-in, princess prep

Well, they say any progress is still progress, right?

Yesterday, I completed my second annual Lifetime Fitness Indoor Triathlon. It was great fun; I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

While at the same time letting myself down.

I haven't trained hard over the past year, but I have done a lot of work. And the one area where I expected to improve the most, I struggled. The indoor tri gives you a set amount of time to complete each discipline in an indoor setting - 10 minutes in the pool, 30 minutes on a spin bike, 20 minutes on a treadmill. You go as far as you can in the allotted time, and you are scored accordingly. Oh, you'd like to know my results? Okay.

Pfft. So the area in which I've trained the most - running - I improved by .01 miles. Which is shorthand for "almost not at all". I'm a little bummed about that.

I'm also equally bummed that one friend of mine (and I use the term loosely) seems to only see victory in eyeing what I'm doing, and beating that - no matter what that is. Not cool.  But I digress ...

All things considered, I had a great time. And no matter how small the margin, I did, indeed, do better this year than last. Mission accomplished.

In other news, I had a very active weekend. Friday after work, I drove up to Schaumburg to spend the weekend with Linda. So I was able to take yoga and salsa/funk Friday night, followed by Saturday morning swim and weight training, and a run. (The run turned into a very short run, because the roads are still snowy and no one seems to plow trails. Bummer!) Then on Sunday, we did the tri. All that activity meant also lots of food, but to my surprise my weigh-in this morning said 204.4.

Truly. I got on the scale three times to be sure it was serious. I still won't hit my goal of less than 200 by half-marathon time, but it's still a success as far as I'm concerned!

And finally ... two weeks from now, the half marathon will be just a memory. All the planning and preparation comes down to this one weekend, and I am both nervous and excited. I want to do well. I want to do my best, and I want to make sure I can keep my energy up and complete the race strong.

And I want to not die.

And I kinda want to finish in less than three hours.

Please?

In two weeks, we'll know.

Winter running, Super Bowl Shuffle

Well, it seems winter has finally arrived in Chicagoland. Just in time to make the final weeks of half marathon training really interesting. 

Saturday morning came early for me. My plan was to head to the Schaumburg gym early, swim, lift weights and then head to the forest preserve for a long run; from the gym to Busse, around the loop and back is just over 11 miles. That's basically what happened, except I shoveled the driveway before I left for the gym, and our run - which was through about three inches of fresh powder - was cut short by continuous snow and the need for a bathroom. But man, was it pretty.

SNOW!

Suffice it to say, we did not go to 11. Running in the snow was tough. We were challenged to push through it, and navigate the slippery parts. Slow going, for sure; it took us about two hours to go six and a half miles.

Stop laughing.

The next morning was Super Bowl Sunday, and the third annual Super Bowl Shuffle 5K in Geneva. Linda and I have been participating in this race since the first year; it's kinda fun to have a streak like that. Anyhoo, I was excited. This tends to be a good PR course for me, and I'm still chasing the elusive sub-40 5K. (Again, stop laughing.) So I thought ... maybe today? The trail was well plowed, and we were ready to go! It was cold, and snowing a little, but that did nothing to dampen our spirits.

Me, ready as I was gonna get. Oh, and Kristen's finger, waggling in my face.

The course winds around a really pretty park area in Geneva, IL, and it's the perfect blend of small-town race with some really nice perks - like a warm hoodie and a 10% off coupon to my favorite running store. We were suited up and ready to go!

Me and Linda. 

The posse for this race was me, Linda, Shelly (her first time running it) and Kristen (back for her second year).

Shelly!

We wore race ribbons in the Bears colors on our shoes, because it seemed like the right thing to do. Football isn't my thing, but I know my blue and orange!

Show wheel, with race ribbons.

It's become a tradition to run the race, head into downtown Geneva for breakfast, and then shop at Geneva Running Outfitters. But first, a stop at Nosh for breakfast.

Kristen in my mittens.

They mix a delicious bloody Maria (like Mary, but with tequila). One for me, one for Kristen, one for Linda ... and a Diet Coke for Shelly.

One of these things is not like the others.

I ordered Monte Cristo Benedict with ginger pears on the side, along with potatoes ... and Mars Bars pancakes. I cannot tell you how delicious this was. What I can tell you is that I ate it all day. I took home leftovers and had them for mid-afternoon snack, and dinner. And I miss it now.

All that food? Yep. MINE.

We finished breakfast and headed to the running store, and the timing could not have been better. I was able to pick up a second pair of my favorite shoes - the Asics Gel Kayano - at a great price, because the updated spring models just came in. Saving $35 on a pair of running shoes is a big deal, so I was in my happy place.

Once I got home, it was time to check my race results. I didn't get my sub-40 yet (drat!) but I'm getting closer. I ran the 5K in 40:43, with an average pace of 13:08. I came in 617 of 749 total runners, 36 out 47 in my age group. And GUESS WHAT? I got a PR. My Race to Wrigley 5K was 13:09; I bested myself by one whole second. It totally counts!

Now, we continue training for the half, and practice running at race pace. But most importantly ... we have fun out there!

Obsess much?

Last night I had a great run. We've been having apocalypse weather, so I went to the Vaughan to run indoors. Treadmill? No thank you; I took to the track.

The Vaughan (thank heaven) has an elevated indoor track; 1/6 of a mile around, running above the main gym. So I had six miles to run; 36 laps. My Nike+ app has been really wonky lately, so I opted not to use it at all. Instead, I tracked my laps on my heartrate monitor watch, hitting the button each time I finished a lap. It was kinda nice to run relatively "unplugged".

I stuck with my run/walk intervals, running four minutes and walking one. And the laps seemed to fly by. (Shut up. I'm serious.) It really felt great! I knew I was doing pretty well, because most of the laps when I ran the full thing (the ones without the walk break) came in at about 2:00 or 2:05; factoring in my walk breaks, I knew I was still under a three-minute lap, on average.

And boy, was I. When I got home and tracked each lap (by hand, on paper ... hence the title of this post), I realized my average speed per mile was 2:15. I was under 13:30 per mile.

This is unheard of.

So what does that mean, in real life? Well, here's the gig: for the Princess in 2012, I had a threefold goal:

• Finish upright and alive.
• Finish in under 3:30 (the cutoff to not get swept).
• Finish in under 3:00.

Running sub-3 last year was a pipedream, but it was possible; anything is possible in the Happiest Place on Earth, right? So I went in knowing I could, but probably wouldn't. In the end, I ran 3:24 and change; so, I met minimum expectations. Okay ... but I'd be a damn liar if I didn't admit to feeling a little disappointed in myself. Realizing that this year, I've trained harder I've lost weight and I'm more prepared ... yeah, I want it.

I won't be crushed if I can't get there. I know every race is different, and that day it might not be in the cards. It's way different to run outside on the road than indoors on a track. There might be wind; there will be a few hills. But there will also be adrenaline and entertainment to bolster me. Who knows?

This could be my year. Stay tuned.