Thursday, April 4, 2013

Well, well, well ... part II

No sooner did I make the big pronouncement that I was getting back on the wagon, than I got hit with the schpilkus.

It wasn't bad. Really, it wasn't much at all. (Sometimes I think if we really just go to bed, we can stave off the worst of it. That's what I did, and it appears to have worked.) All that being said, I have not worked out since last Saturday.

I KNOW! That's a long time! But tonight I'm headed to the gym for a run, and maybe a few laps. It's okay.

I'm trying not to let myself get down, because lately I've been feeling betrayed by my body. It's as if I need to work out like a crazy person, and eat next to nothing, in order for the scale to budge. Now here I am, at 210 pounds again, struggling to get it to move. It's my third Shamrock Shuffle at basically the same weight. This race, every year, is the one I'm determined to run at under 200.

Once again, I've failed.

On top of that, I went to the dentist today. I need some pretty significant work there, too, and it's not going to be cheap. So it's as if my whole damn self is just giving up.

I recognize, in times like this, that I have two choices: I can get on my pity pot and stay there. Or I can let it fuel me forward.

As I drove to the office post-dentist, I felt a renewed resolve creep in. Almost as if I had taken enough crap since (and including) the half marathon, and it's time to start kicking back. It's all about balance, and I crave that; but I have got to truly dedicate myself to reaching my goals. So, here they are, including some newbies:

  • Weigh in at something under 200 pounds.
    • And, eventually, 180. After that, we'll see.
  • Run a half marathon in less than three hours.
  • Run a 5K in less than 40 minutes.
  • Laugh.
  • Get my dental nightmare taken care of.
  • Take back my name (by getting rid of my married surname).
Some of these are going to take some time. The dental work may take until sometime next year, pending availability of funds. So we'll see. The physical stuff, though? Yeah. I just gotta get that shit done. I have to get out of my head and just start behaving like my inner me knows I should! 

Let's go ...

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