Thursday, April 21, 2011

The weighing is the hardest part

Based on how my ass feels, I was guessing I'd be up about 5 pounds from my happy 205 of a few weeks ago. The proof, as they say, is on the scale. (They don't say that? Really? Whatev.) So I got on the scale this morning, and it did not demand that I immediately step off.

208.4 - up 3.4. Okay. I'll take it. I can kick that shit away in a few weeks, and start afresh.

There's a paralysis that comes from almost meeting a goal. I think in some small way, I'm afraid of finally getting below 200. I get close, and then I wobble. I can't ... seem ... to push ... myself ... beyond.

It's time.

I know things have slowed down since I got all injured and shit. It happens. I need to give myself grace for that. But then ... I need to get it together. Track the calories, and do what I can, exercise-wise. Sure, the quickest way to melt calories is running, but I lost a ton of weight before running came into my life. My overall health is not dependent on whether or not I can run.

Right? Right.

So I have big plans for the weekend. Going to the gym tonight, and on Saturday I'll be back in strength training class. Tomorrow is stay-at-home spa day, and on Sunday, come hell or high water, I will go rollerblading. It's been a long time since I've been on wheels; it's time to get back to it.

Because I am more than just one facet of me. When I was out of work (my God, it's been more than four years ago now!) I had to readjust my definition of self, because I had always defined me according to my job. Well, now I'm redefining who I am as an athlete. (Yes, I wrote that out loud.) I am more than simply a runner. I am a dancer, a walker ... and I am on my way to becoming a cyclist, swimmer and return rollerblader. There is a whole big world out there. I'm not just gonna run through it!

2 comments:

Janie said...

I do love the Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers headline. I have been on a plateau for longer than I care to think about. Just can't seem to get down past it. Very frustrating and I'm not sure what the answer is.

Maggie Bieritz said...

The answer is continuing to wait. Or maybe it's eating an entire cake. Sometimes, ya need to shake things up to continue the downward trend!