The weighing is the hardest part

Based on how my ass feels, I was guessing I'd be up about 5 pounds from my happy 205 of a few weeks ago. The proof, as they say, is on the scale. (They don't say that? Really? Whatev.) So I got on the scale this morning, and it did not demand that I immediately step off.

208.4 - up 3.4. Okay. I'll take it. I can kick that shit away in a few weeks, and start afresh.

There's a paralysis that comes from almost meeting a goal. I think in some small way, I'm afraid of finally getting below 200. I get close, and then I wobble. I can't ... seem ... to push ... myself ... beyond.

It's time.

I know things have slowed down since I got all injured and shit. It happens. I need to give myself grace for that. But then ... I need to get it together. Track the calories, and do what I can, exercise-wise. Sure, the quickest way to melt calories is running, but I lost a ton of weight before running came into my life. My overall health is not dependent on whether or not I can run.

Right? Right.

So I have big plans for the weekend. Going to the gym tonight, and on Saturday I'll be back in strength training class. Tomorrow is stay-at-home spa day, and on Sunday, come hell or high water, I will go rollerblading. It's been a long time since I've been on wheels; it's time to get back to it.

Because I am more than just one facet of me. When I was out of work (my God, it's been more than four years ago now!) I had to readjust my definition of self, because I had always defined me according to my job. Well, now I'm redefining who I am as an athlete. (Yes, I wrote that out loud.) I am more than simply a runner. I am a dancer, a walker ... and I am on my way to becoming a cyclist, swimmer and return rollerblader. There is a whole big world out there. I'm not just gonna run through it!