Monday, May 9, 2011

So I forgot

I weighed in last week: 204.8

That's the smallest number yet, although I'm not sure it's gonna stick. Especially after my weekend of ridiculous carbo-loading for no good reason other than DAMN I wanted white food!

Pasta. Bread. More pasta. Yum. And holy crap, Trader Joe's makes peanut butter-flavored cream cheese. Seriously. It was consumed. And it was good.

So now it's a question of, how to get it off my thighs? Well, the good news is, I was able to start running again. Haven't run at all since I injured my Achilles on March 21, so it felt great to step on the treadmill and take a few tentative steps. I'm on wimpy intervals - four minutes walking, one minute running - but I was able to do it. I completed six intervals, with an extra four-minute walk at the end. I went two miles in 34 minutes. Not perfect, not fast, but not horrible, either. I'll get there.

When I was done, it hurt a little, but it wasn't awful. I went home and put it on ice, then rested the rest of the day. Or more precisely, weekend. On Sunday I did some at-home yoga practice, but that's it. Nothing crazy here, just a little stretchy-poo time. I'm going to try and add a little time for yoga every day. Well, except Tuesdays; that's already jam-packed and I rarely get home before 9 p.m., so ... six days of a little yoga. Four days of a little running. Supplement as I'm able, cross-train doing stuff I like and ... we'll see.

I'm a little stuck, feeling like it's never "enough". Can I claim an active lifestyle when I don't always have one? Can I say I'm a runner when I haven't run in about seven weeks? When is it enough? When will I stop questioning my abilities and achievements?

I don't know. But here's what I know for sure: As of my last weigh-in, I have lost 35 pounds since last August. I have lost 75 pounds in the last few years. It's slow, but that's okay. It's not like I've been very focused or obsessy. I'm letting it be natural; I'm doing it in my own time. And maybe that's why I never really feel like it's enough. So, at least for today, I'm going to be content. Because what I've done so far is an accomplishment. Booyah.

No comments: