Monday, March 28, 2011
Bless me, Father
For I have not been running and yet I can't seem to stop eating. If only a few Hail Marys or Our Fathers would absolve me from weight gain. It was a week ago today that the Achilles and I stopped getting along. It's much better now, but still not nearly ready for me to start running on it. I've also had to make some tough decisions, including not participating in my next race. The Shamrock Shuffle is April 10. There is no way I will have sufficient time to heal and train to finish the race injury-free. I can't begin to explain the emotion that was tied to that realization. I wept for a few hours. (Seriously, I didn't see that coming.) I feel like I'm letting a lot of people - including myself - down. I set this goal of a race every month, and I'm not going to complete it. I have officially failed. I am not good at setbacks, and this one feels huge. In the moment, during a conversation with Donna when she urged me not to run the race, it felt like the end of the world. That mess has gotten better, but still, it's painful. It feels wrong, somehow. I realize that when you make the transition from "person who exercises" to "athlete," you are more susceptible to injury. I guess I just hadn't thought of myself as someone who has made the transition yet. So, anyway, here I am, nursing an injury and slowing my progress down. In the meanwhile, I've been depressed. And what does Maggie do when she's depressed? Maggie eats. It's time to get real. Again. No more letting this get the better of me. No more Achilles-based paralysis. No more indulging my tastebuds because I can't run. I will do what I can. Tonight, I'll take a walk on the treadmill while my friend Pam runs beside me. Tomorrow, I will take it easy and do my Salsa/Funk best, plus weight training. Wednesday, I will get my hot yoga groove on, and on Thursday you'll find me on the elliptical. Come Saturday, it'll be time for more strength training and some elliptical goodness or maybe a spin class. This is a doable schedule, even for someone with an injury. I can bounce back from this. But in the meanwhile, any happy thoughts you'd care to toss my way would be most appreciated.